Healthy Relationships 101: Marriage And Babies

?As I struggled to wake up from the anesthesia, I sensed my husband standing close by.? He was very excited and kept saying something, but back I went into dreamland as the medication continued to control me.? Slowly, I became more aware, more awake as I heard my dear husband say, "We had twins!"? "No", I replied, "it was the lady over there who had twins".? Still groggy and unsure of whether I was awake or dreaming, I heard him say those same words again.? "We had twins!"? As my eyes gradually began to focus, I became aware that my C-section was finished and that I was now in the recovery room.? My hubby's face was lit up with a big smile; though there appeared to be some uncertainty on it as well.? "Twins" I said aloud.? "How did we have twins?"? ?At each of our OB appointments, the doctor always only heard 1 heartbeat within my womb.? ?There had never been a need to have an ultrasound done.? ?Somehow, though, through the grace of God, we now had our busy 2 year old son and 2 newborn babies instead of just the one newborn baby which we were expecting.

The first year of our twin sons lives was physically exhausting.? Thoughts went through my mind:? " Am I suppose to find some time for my marriage?? Am I suppose to have even an ounce of energy left to converse with my hubby for more than 5 minutes?"? "How can we maintain this relationship when all my time and energy is being zapped by our active 2 year old and his younger twin brothers?"

Have you ever wondered how it might be possible to carve out time for your marriage?? Do you think about creative ways to stay in touch with your spouse?? Research studies continuously conclude that the marriage relationship is a vital component of the family cohesiveness and harmony.? The small, everyday caring and gentle gestures, words and actions contribute to the intimacy and closer relationship between a husband and wife.? Sharing a smile with your spouse, holding your exhausted spouse lovingly in your arms and praying for your spouse are the building blocks of a strong, stable and committed relationship.

The ultimate goal of a married relationship is to share the joys and the sorrows with that special person in your life.? The roller coaster ride of family life has various twists, hairpin turns, unexpected acceleration and a exhilarating feeling when one returns to home - to the special place of warmth and love.? Home is where one can give and receive love unconditionally.? Home is where we are nurtured and nourished and where? we nurture and nourish others.? Home is where one belongs; being within the heart of the family, within its protected environment and within its safe and secure boundaries.? As you are creating your home, what atmosphere and ambiance do you want it to have?? What are you doing so that a loving and stable home is the reality for your spouse and for your children?

For me, singing was a part of creating our loving and stable home.? Singing brought joy, energy and inspiration to our family's life.? Telling stories "from my head" was another aspect of my home's design:? putting my child into a story, having a story with a message, a moral and a value within it, or telling a story from my own childhood memories brought smiles, questions and a vivid imagination to our children.? Most valuable to me, though, was the importance of inviting God into the many aspects of our lives.? He created not only the heavens and the earth but He also gave us the gift of our children.?? Along the incredible journey of raising our children, my hubby and I continuously asked Him to join us for every step along the path of parenthood.

As you reflect on finding time for your marriage and creating a loving, stable home for your children, remember that there are 8 specific traits that help couples to go the distance.? These 8 traits facilitate the lifelong journey of ?peaks and valleys within a special, intimate relationship.? Take the time to analyze the following traits:

*??????? Ability to change and adapt to new situations. People change, relationships change- having flexibility helps the relationship stay strong.

*???????? Commitment and permanence. Commitment to the marriage/relationship?as well as to each other, is an expectation that the relationship will endure and that divorce/separation is not an option.

????????? Trust.?Expectation of fidelity in all areas, being absolutely faithful to one another.

*????? An awareness that not every difference or difficulty can be resolved.

?* ????? Balance of dependencies.? Mutual dependence in the relationship that does not compromise one's sense of individuality.

????? * ? Good communication skills.? Being able to share thoughts and feelings, discuss problems together and listen to the other person's point of view, and being able to talk problems out.

*???? A sharing of some basic values, beliefs and interests.

??????? Social support structures.? Involvement and participation with one's family and with the community's support systems.? (Parker, 2001)

The big surprise of having twins has doubled our joys and sorrows.? Throughout the years of diapers, potty training, kindergarten etc, we are continuously also focusing time and energy on our marriage.? Our children have reaped the rewards of the hard work that we invested in our marriage.? They are a part of a strong, stable and committed family which will help each of them to go the distance in their own lives.? Invest in your children's future by finding time and energy to treasure your marriage!

Source: http://healthyrelations101.blogspot.com/2012/07/marriage-and-babies.html

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