Monday, May 21, 2012

I Had an Affair and I Want to Save My Marriage | Relationship Rewind

I Had an Affair and I Want to Save My Marriage

Posted on by Ryan Rivers

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?I had an affair and I want to save my marriage! How do I???

So you?ve had an affair, but you care enough about your partner to try to save your marriage. While I commend you for opting to stick it out, I can tell you that this is one of the most difficult things to recover from in a relationship. You?ve broken the sacred trust between the two of you and re-establishing that is not going to be an easy task. In addition, I have to wonder if your partner is on board. To have a happy and healthy marriage, both partners must be willing to make it work.

Many people think that they can solve this problem on their own. Maybe they?ll buy their wife flowers or begin cooking every meal. Others adopt a lazy approach and assume that she?ll just ?get over it? eventually. Neither is the correct response. It is kind and considerate to begin to do more around the house, but make sure that you are doing things that you do well. If you always do the laundry and she screams at you for doing it wrong, don?t touch it. Try to do the things that you know you can do right. Cleaning and cooking are usually good options that will not upset her.

In the end, it?s important to realize that you cannot fix this on your own. The chances are slim to none and why risk it? If you are serious about your marriage then you should ask your partner to go to couples therapy with you. This will give you both a mediator and an objective third person perspective. A couples therapist will be able to help you work through your problems. Your partner will also be more likely to share things in session that she might not at home, giving you a better idea on what she needs and on what you can do to save your marriage.

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Saturday, May 19, 2012

All Facebook, All The Time (talking-points-memo)

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The Sorraia horse. | *A blog for Pets*


Although it is known that the Sorraia horse developed in the southern part of the Iberian peninsula, the breed was isolated and unknown to science until the 20th century.
Despite the lack of documentation, attempts have been made to reconstruct its history.

Paleolithic parietal art images in the region depict equines with a distinct likeness to the Sorraia, with similar zebra-like markings. Analysis of mtDNA has been performed on Mustangs in the western United States that show similar mtDNA patterns between some Mustangs and the Sorraia breed.

Spanish conquistadors took Iberian horses, some of whom closely resembled the modern-day Sorraia, to the Americas in their conquests, probably as pack animals. Similarities between the Sorraia and several North and South American breeds are shown in the dun and grullo coloring and various physical characteristics.

This evidence suggests that the Sorraia, their ancestors, or other horses with similar features, may have had a long history in the Iberian region and a role in the creation of American breeds.
Otherwise, the Sorraia breed was lost to history until 1920, when Portuguese zoologist and paleontologist Dr. Ruy d'Andrade first encountered the Sorraia horse during a hunting trip in the Portuguese lowlands.
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This remnant herd of primitive horses had continued to live a wild existence in these lowlands, which were rather inaccessible and had been used as a hunting preserve by Portuguese royalty until the early 1900s.

At the time of d'Andrade's initial meeting the breed, the horses were ill-regarded by native farmers, although they were considered hardy native fauna that lived off of the uncultivated lands and salt marshes in the local river valleys.

For centuries, peasant farmers of the area would occasionally capture the horses and use them for agricultural work, including threshing grain and herding bulls.


In the 1920s and 1930s, as mechanization became more prevalent, both wild and domesticated breeding stock diminished to almost nothing, and d'Andrade, along with his son Fernando, encouraged the conservation of the breed.

In 1937, d'Andrade began a small herd of his own with five stallions and seven mares from horses obtained near Coruche, Portugal.

All Sorraias currently in captivity descend from these original horses obtained by d'Andrade, and it is believed that the remnant wild herds of the breed died out soon after. These horses were kept in a habitat similar to their native one.

In 1975, two other farms took up the Sorraia's cause and acquired small herds to help with conservation. In 1976, three stallions and three mares were imported to Germany from Portugal to begin a sub-population there.

?In March 2004, a small breeding herd of Sorraia horses was released on the estate of a private land owner who dedicated a portion of his property so that these horses could live completely wild, as did their ancestors.
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The refuge created for them is in the Vale de Zebro region of south western Portugal, one of places so named because this is where the Sorraia's predecessors dwelt.

Two Sorraia stallions were imported to the United States in the early 21st century. In 2006, another Sorraia stallion was imported to Canada where a Sorraia Mustang Preserve has been established on Manitoulin Island in Ontario.

Unrelated to existing preservation efforts which work in conjunction with the Sorraia Mustang Studbook, another project by a consortium of breeders in the United States is attempting to establish a separate network and studbook.

These breeders have gathered Spanish Mustangs that through mtDNA testing show a genetic relationship with the Sorraia and are breeding them according to both genotype and phenotype in an attempt to help preserve what they are calling the "American Sorraia".


Today, the breed is nearly extinct, with fewer than 200 horses existing as of 2007, including around 80 breeding mares.

The Food and Agriculture Organization considers it to be maintaining critical risk status. The first studbook was published in 2004, dedicated to maintaining a written record of the bloodlines of the Sorraia.

Sorraias are present mainly in Portugal, with a small population in Germany. While not bred for a specific use, the Sorraia horses are versatile and have been used in herding bulls, dressage riding and light harness.

The Sorraia is a rare breed of horse indigenous to the portion of the Iberian peninsula known today as Portugal. The Sorraia is known for its primitive features, including a convex profile and dun coloring with primitive markings.

Concerning its origins, a theory has been advanced by some authors that the Sorraia is a descendant of primitive horses belonging to the naturally occurring wild fauna of Southern Iberia.

?Studies are currently ongoing to discover the relationship between the Sorraia and various wild horse types, as well as its relationship with other breeds from the Iberian Peninsula and Northern Africa.

Members of the breed are small, but hardy and well-adapted to harsh conditions. They were occasionally captured and used by native farmers for centuries, and a remnant population of these nearly extinct horses was discovered by a Portuguese zoologist in the early 20th century.

Today, the Sorraia has become the focus of preservation efforts, with European scientists leading the way and enthusiasts from several countries forming projects and establishing herds to assist in the re-establishment of this breed from its current endangered status.

The Sorraia breed stands between 14.1 and 14.3 hands high (57 to 59 inches (145 to 150 cm)), although some individuals are as small as 12.3 hands high (51 inches (130?cm)). The head tends to be large, the profile convex, and the ears long.

The neck is slender and long, the withers high, and the croup slightly sloping. The legs are strong, with long pasterns and well-proportioned hooves. These horses have good endurance and are easy keepers, thriving on relatively little fodder.
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They have a reputation for being independent of temperament, but tractable.
On adult horses, the lay of the hair can create the appearance of stripes or "barring" on the neck and chest. Also due to the lay of the hair, newborn foals can appear to have stripes all over, reminiscent of zebra stripes.

The breed standard refers to this as "hair stroke".
Sorraia are generally dun or a dun variation called grullo. Dun coloring includes primitive markings such as a black dorsal stripe, black tipped ears, horizontal striping on the legs and a dark muzzle area.

The dark muzzle area is in contrast to some other dun-colored horse breeds, who have light-colored muzzle areas and underbellies, possibly due to the presence of pangare genetics. Sorraia horses have bi-colored manes and tails with lighter colored hairs that fringe the outside of the longer growing black hair.

This is a characteristic shared with other predominantly dun-colored breeds, such as the Fjord horse. Purebred Sorraia occasionally have white markings, although they are rare and undesired by the breed's studbook.
source :? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sorraia

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Friday, May 18, 2012

The Bomb in the Brain Part 5 ? A Postscript and Prescription ? Self ...

What to do with this information, and how you and the world will achieve freedom. www.fdrurl.com ? www.libertopia.org ? http
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Chicago braces for major protests as NATO summit looms

Some downtown Chicago businesses are taking extra steps for security, including boarding up ahead of expected anti-NATO protests. WMAQ's Jeff Goldblatt reports.

By Miranda Leitsinger, msnbc.com

As world leaders gather for the NATO summit in Chicago this weekend, they will be welcomed by thousands of protesters with a litany of complaints. Chief among them: Stop spending money on war and use it to rebuild recession-hit communities instead.

Protesters already have taken to the streets over a number of causes in the week leading up to the summit, including?the shuttering of local schools and the loss of homes through foreclosures, and they stormed the building that houses the headquarters of President Obama?s campaign.

But they?re planning larger rallies and marches in the days to come, one to call for a ?Robin Hood? tax on certain Wall Street transactions and another led by anti-war activists where a group of 9/11-era veterans plan to return their service medals to protest the "war on terror."

?We?re seeking to show how the policies and the money that goes to NATO trickles down to hurt people in every community in America and especially in Chicago,? said Rachael Perrotta, a 32-year-old receptionist and a member of the press team for Occupy Chicago, one of the two main groups organizing the protests. ?Over 800 million in U.S. tax dollars goes to fund NATO each year and our country is crumbling. Here in Chicago, they?re closing schools, they?re closing health clinics and we?re saying that we need our money to stay here to fund services in this country, not to go overseas to kill people on the other side of the world.?

NATO, or the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, consists of 28 member nations, including the United States. NATO members have deployed alongside the United States in the Afghan war and NATO led last year?s military action in Libya.

Chicago has?assigned 3,100 officers to NATO's two-day summit to guard against the kind of violence that broke out in the streets of Seattle at the World Trade Organization meeting in 1999. They will be assisted by hundreds of officers from?other cities such as Milwaukee, Philadelphia and Charlotte-Mecklenburg, N.C., NBCChicago.com reported, and the city has warned of massive travel disruptions.

The city also has imposed limits on how close the protesters, which include dozens of unions and anti-war, environmental, education, healthcare and civil liberties? groups,?can get to the convention center where the summit is being held?-- within ?sight and sound? of it, according to the Chicago Tribune -- raising the ire of the demonstrators.

?We?ve had an 11-month fight with the city and with the federal authorities for our right to protest against war and greed, and it?s come down to these days of protests,? which will give people an ?opportunity to express their voices as part of this movement,? said Joe Iosbaker, an organizer with the Coalition Against NATO/G8 War & Poverty Agenda (CANG8), the other main group organizing the protests.

Archive video: Look back at the calamitous 1968 Democratic convention in Chicago

The National Lawyers Guild, which said it was sending out legal observers to the demonstrations and aiding those who were arrested, said late Thursday that at least 20 people have been arrested so far this week, and two people were still in custody.

The American Civil Liberties Union?has released guidelines for protesters to consider under a new federal law that it said has ?expanded the ability of the Secret Service to suppress protests? near people under its protection. But a spokesman for the group also said Wednesday that McCormick Place had agreed to let protesters put literature and multimedia materials in the center during the meetings, the Tribune reported.

Gary Gerstle, a professor of American history and an expert in social movements at Vanderbilt University, said the protests were reminiscent of those against corporate power in the late 1990s, including the ones targeting the WTO meeting in Seattle.

Jim Young/Reuters

Chicago police prevent protesters from placing furniture in front of a bank Thursday, ahead of the NATO summit in Chicago.

?This had quite a lot of momentum in the late ?90s,? he said. ?And then the intervention of Sept. 11 just killed that movement -- not permanently -- but it made its goals seem secondary in relationship to what most people in the world were worrying about, which was terrorism, not forms of international corporate exploitation.?

?But it would be foolish to think that that stuff just died,? he added. ?And I think we?re beginning to see some of it come back.?

Todd Gitlin, a former leader of the 1960s-era group Students for a Democratic Society and a sociology and journalism professor, noted the high degree of organization and advance planning that had gone into the NATO summit protests. But he cautioned that Occupy and its satellite groups need to come up with ?tangible results? rather than demonstrations that will play ?as more of the same.?

?What it (Occupy) already has done is big, but diminishing returns will set in if what materializes now is simply one demonstration after another,? he said. ?They?ve already accomplished the bulk of what they can accomplish by way of changing the atmosphere. The atmosphere has changed. Now they have to produce tangible results in order to evolve.?

US veterans to return war medals in protest

But Iosbaker said protesting was the only thing that worked to create change, citing the civil rights and anti-nuclear movements as well as Occupy.

?We are just another link in that chain but we?ve already won specific things,? he said, citing the decision to move the G8 meeting, planned for earlier in the week, out of Chicago to Camp David in Maryland. ?We have made NATO and war a topic of dinner table conversation in the city of Chicago and I believe to a considerable extent nationally. The anti-war movement had been re-emerging around Afghanistan as more and more people turned against that war and now there is a major sense of momentum for all the peace groups in the country.?

More content from msnbc.com and NBC News:

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Arab-Blog.Com ? Blog Archive ? south carolina workers comp law ...

If perhapsyou havebecomehurt at work, then chances are youare notfamiliar with South Carolina?s work injury laws.

Exactly how do youget started with Workers? Compensation? See our straightforwardsummarybelow and get in touch with our work injury attorneysto go over your case. Yourcircumstance will be evaluatedcost-free. Just contact ustoday.?

?What exactly is Workers? Compensation?

?Generally, it?s an insurance policyyour ownemployershould carry to make certain thatemployeeswoundedat the officecan acquireessentialtreatment and financial help for lost wages, in additionaddedpaymentfor virtually any work-related injury, sickness, or disease thatwill cause total or partiallydisadvantages to work. Workers? compensation can be obtained regardless of fault when the injury develops out of, and inthe course of, employment.

?By law, every singleSccompanyusing4or more full-time personnelwill need to haveworkers compensation insurance.

The protectionpresentedwithin theScWorkers Comp Act is simply thestarting pointof one?s right to settlementfor a workplace personal injury.

?Just whoqualifiesfor workmans? comp benefits?

?Any full-time worker (working fora business with 4 or more workers) who may havean employmentrelevant injury and needsmedical helpshould becovered under workers? compensation insurance. It doesn?tmake any differencein the event the injury was a total accident or themistake of a co-worker.

The worker MUST tellher or hisemployerwithin90 days of the accident or risk losing the legal right to benefits under workers compensation. (Our recommendation is thatyou actuallydocumentinformation onyour accident and also to whom you reported it.)

Migrant in addition to seasonal farm personnel arenotprotected under workman?s compensation insurance.

In case it?s been more than3 months since your work accident took place, you might needguidancegetting benefits for medical treatment and lost wages.

?What are Worker?s Compensation Benefits?

?Workers? compensationinsuranceadvantagesto support the hurtstaffconsist of:

  • Medical treatment and other medical expenditures (fuel consumption, public transitcosts)
  • Lost pay: 2/3 of your employee?s salary will be paid outafter a seven-day waiting period
  • Compensation for a permanent loss: blindness, loss of limb
  • Death benefits to spouseanddependents

What qualifies as a work injury?


There are actually obvious work injuries and not-so obvious work incidents.

  • Physical injury: an accidentlike a fall, chemical burn, cut.
  • Recurring injury: an injury acquired by duplicating the same acts frequently through work. This could be accumulative hearing loss, devastatinglower back pain, carpel tunnel, neck pain. It is suggested to report a recurring injury as soon as you need to seek medical attention for it.
  • Disease: an occupational condition is one that?sacquired because of your job like lung diseases (ex. Asbestosis) from work environments and hazardous work-related materials, or disease contracted because your work in a hospital.
  • Mental issues: Mental issues from extreme or unusual work conditions or from an ongoing work injury.

The informationyou obtainat thiswebsiteis not, nor is it intended to serve as, legal advice. You need toseek advice froman attorneyfor guidanceconcerningyour individualcase. This article isnot intended to and does notcreate an attorney-client relationship.?

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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Self Improvement | The Components of Personal Resilience | The ...

By Graham Yemm -

There is a growing amount of research and publicity about the power of personal resilience when managing pressure and avoiding stress. Despite this, many organizations still want to focus on stress management or wellbeing programmes. Although these are better than nothing maybe they, and their personnel, would benefit more from putting the attention onto developing people?s personal resilience. (There is a strong argument for also addressing organizational influence at the same time.)

Resilience has many definitions from the ?ability to bounce back? to ?The ability to withstand adverse events and stressful situations without falling apart, by actively and positively coping with stress? (Stein and Book) Whatever your preference for definitions, you can probably identify certain times and situations where you feel more capable and resilient. Maybe you can use these to learn from and expand the range of situations where you can respond more resiliently?

We have identified 6 components which we believe are fundamental to personal resilience. Each of these can be developed and thought of as a work in progress which you keep improving. Not only will strengthening them help to increase your personal resilience they will help you in many other aspects of your life.

Sense of purpose

Probably the core component of the six. It is the foundation for the all of the others. Not everyone is clear about their purpose and it is frequently something that you can define as you move through life. The stronger your sense of purpose the better equipped you are to handle challenges and setbacks and to recover from them. If you are not clear, it can lead to feelings of frustration or aimlessness. Being able to identify this can help you to feel you are having a more meaningful life. Do you understand the purpose in all the activities you engage in or do you experience a frustrating sense of why you are there?

For many people their sense of purpose is around one of the following, or a combination:

people ? interests or hobbies ? religion or spirituality ? personal achievement or ambition

Positive realism

This component is something of a balancing act, between being able to think positively about situations and events whilst being realistic about what can be achieved. (It is not about some naive false optimism!) It involves being able to generate positive thoughts and feelings about situations. If you slip towards the other side, ask what do you gain by taking that more negative view of things? Practise seeing the glass half full, look at the positive and you will start to feel different. At the same time, a healthy dose of realism is good. It reduces the chance of having unreasonable expectations and subsequent disappointment. Keep things in perspective and it will help you to achieve these aims. Whether thinking about what might happen, or reflecting on things from the past, think positively and with the realistic perspective. Focusing on what is in front of you now can support this approach.

Relationships

People matter to us. Supporting and caring relationships are essential. Your interpersonal communication and skills can be an important element of your ability to be resilient and how well you can handle difficult situations or times. Having people around who you can reach out to when you need support or help is a real asset. (Provided you are open to doing so and do not think it is a weakness to seek support.) It is also powerful to be able to offer help and support to others when they need it. Developing your interpersonal skills to be able to adapt to a wide variety of people and interactions can help reduce the possible pressures created in difficult relationships.

Determination yet open-minded and flexible

How good are you at seeing things through? When faced with challenges do you deal with them by having a ?can do? approach, being proactive and taking action? This component considers how well you finish tasks and things which you have started. Are you able to keep going in the face of adversity rather than giving up? Your ability to persevere when confronted with difficulty will help your resilience. An important part of this is your ability to be adaptable and open-minded. Rather than being closed minded in your determination, resilience is helped if you can be flexible in your approach to things. It prevents any tendency to keep repeating the same behaviours to similar situations and expecting different results! A willingness to explore options and alternatives will always provide you with a greater range of choices to deal with situations.

Self-Awareness

This refers to your knowledge of your inner self and how you think, feel and react. What are the patterns you have in the way we think about, or respond to, different situations and challenges? Can you identify the positive, more helpful ones ? and those which might be less positive? Resilient people are able to identify the causes of their success and any failures and learn from them. They will accept responsibility for their actions and reactions. They recognise what challenges or situations are beyond their control and that the part which is in their control is how they think and react. Assess your own habits about your thoughts, do you live in the present and future, or keep going back to the past?

Self-management -self-reliance

This component is somewhat more pragmatic as it considers how well you know, and use your strengths and skills and recognize your limitations. Both at work and home, do you manage your time and only take on what you can handle realistically? Over-commitment is a major source of pressure for many. Aim to get your work-life balance at the right level for you and those around you. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions. As you build your own reliance you can become stronger at doing this. Looking after yourself is also important. Your health, lifestyle and even amount or relaxation and sleep will help towards your resilience.

For organizations, you can really benefit from helping your people to introduce some initiatives to help them increase their personal resilience. We know that stress costs your business, both directly and indirectly. Why wait until it becomes a problem? Support your people by working on prevention and start offering some personal resilience training or help.

Individuals can use various ways to assess themselves. Discussion with friends or colleagues, self-assessment, coaching or taking some sort of profile or questionnaire. (You could try our Personal Resilience Index!) Identify where you feel you could improve and where you feel you are strong. Think about your preferences or choices for how you could develop in the areas you want and take some action. Ultimately, it will help you with your quality of life and potentially help in all areas.

Graham Yemm is a partner in Managing Pressure and has 20 years of experience of working with organizations and individuals, internationally and in the UK, to help them manage time more effectively and to deal with pressure and stress. He can be reached through info@managingpressure.com or +44 1483 480656.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Graham_Yemm
http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Components-of-Personal-Resilience&id=4674363

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